Середина июня, 2008.
Грязный пустой аэропорт и усталые лица. Первое впечатление об Италии- опоздавший рейс, страшная
жара и тяжелые сумки. Желание сесть в самолет и лететь назад, в прохладу Нидерландов.
Милан. Хостел в центре города. Лимон, вино, свежтй багет и копченый лосось поднимают настроение и
возвращают к жизни. И дышится легче, и живется веселее. На следующий день погода была настолько
хорошей, что не пойти на прогулку было бы большой ошибкой. Шоппинг получился скомканным- цены
кусались, глаза разбегались, ноги устали от непривычно долгой хотьбы.
Теплой утро. Не жаркое, а именно теплое. Завтрак был просто сногсшибательным! Сразу после завтрака,
закинув рюкзаки через плечо, мы двинулись на вокзал. Следующая остановка- Флоренция.

Архитектура во Флоренции захватывает дух. Сразу вспоминаются и Микеланджело, и Рафаэль,
и другие знаменитые люди, прославившие итальянское искусство. Как только попадаешь в Accademia Gallery
of Florence, забываешь обо всем.Вымотавшись, но насладив глаз, мы двинулись в "нетуристические" места. Заблудились,но вышли одну из многочисленных маленьких улочек. Вот так вот, совершенно случайно, мы
наткнулись на замечательный итальянский ресторанчик, с крохотной вывеской, совершенно неприметной
взгляду любопытных туристов. Шум, гам, песни, назойливый голос итальянцев...Вот она, настоящая Италия!
Не чистые туристические места, столпище скульптур, полные монет; не пицца, которую не успевают
напичкать всем необходимым и вытаскивают из печи раньше времени, чтобы не потерялть клиентов, но которая стоит по-туристически дорого. После дня во Флоренции мы все-таки тронулись дальше в путь.
Захотелось чего-то вечного. И вот он- РИМ.

Для начала решили вкусить те же прелести, что и каждый уважающий себя турист. Программа, естественно,
включала в себя Коллизей, Пантеон, Максимум Серкос ( на языке вертится, но не помню,к ак на русском!)
Но была разбавлена весельем. Так, в Коллизее мы от души подурачились и подрались на зонтиках,
купленных там же за треть цены. А после официальной экскурсии по Пантеону, мы устроились на свежей
зеленой травке. Открыли вино, ели моцареллу с черри и закусили сочным арбузом на десерт. Как ни
странно, живот не болел ни у кого. После просмотра "Бэтмена" с Хитом Леджером в главной роли,
отркыли мартини асти и закусили сладкой клубникой. А после купались в фонтане, пока не
подъехали добрые итальянцы и не предупредили, что купание в фонтане-дело в общем-то нелегальное
в Италии. Поэтому мы решили, что ночь в полицейском участке не входит в наши планы и чересчур
экстремально и пошлепали босиком по теплому асфальту. Обособленным счастьем было послушать
мастером Ла-Скалы в опере под открытым небом. Не знаю точно, что именно пела Мадам Батерфляй, но
голос был что надо. С Самыми приятными воспоминаниями мы покидали Рим навстречу романтике.

И вот она, Венеция. Вопреки ожиданиям, вода не воняла (да-да, не смейтесь, напугали "добрые люди"),
здания потрясающей красоты. Единственный минус- большое количество туристов. В Додж Хаус, Белл Тауэр
и некоторые другие места прорывались с боем. Успели посетить несколько церквей и картинную галерею. После этого задор покинул нас. Мы тупо садились на пароход и плыли, куда глаза глядят. А глядеть было на что!
Как и все влюбленные парочки, покатались на гондоле. На самом деле, все наши уютные пикники и одинокие
вечера вдвоем кажутся романтичнее, как бы громко ни играла гармонь и как бы задушевно ни пел тучный
итальянец. Не было ощущения приватности. К тому же, меня прилично укачивало. Хотя справедливости ради
надо сказать, что каждый день в Венецию не летаешь, поэтому попробовать стоило. Какой-то опыт и было,
в принципе, приятненько.
Венеция запомнилась мостами, причалами, голубями на плохади, крикливыми чайками и надоедливыми
продавцами.И мы отправились в другое не менее романтичное место- Верону.

Насну с того, что погода в Вероне была просто замечательной! Свежо, прохладно, недушно. Захотелось остаться там навсегда. Естественно, поцелуи на балконе Джульетты, посещение дома-музея Монтекки (или Капулетти?).И долгие прогулки по вечерней Вероне. На следующий день-опять привычная духота и
автобус. Держим путь на Пизу.

В Пизе мы были от силы несколько часов. Ни погода, ни забитость туристами не рождали желание
задерживаться. Башня маленькая, очереди длинные, цены высокие. Ничего особенного для себя я не
нашла, но опять-таки посмотреть стоило. Хотя бы для того, чтобы разочароваться. Хотя чего я , собственно,
ожидала:)

Отдельный разговор, конечно- Ватикан. Государство в государстве, с обалденным музеем, Basilica Pappale san Pietro - это все надо видеть!

Так вот замечательно закончилось наше путешествие. 
 

I have graduated from good school, was offered very good position in higher authority, had my place, friends, night life and my own plans, until I met The One. We met in Korea,  new for both of us country, which has bounded us together. And my love was so huge, so engrossing. that I left everything behind and moved to Finland, absolutely new for me country. Of course, the first days and even month, was very harsh. No friends, different language, different culture, too opened society... But I had inner strength to survive that period and find my place in this world (with a great support of The One).
 

Now I am studying Finnish language for 2 months. Believe me, not the easiest in the world. However, i am already  quite good in it. And I promise, I will succeed in it. The most important is that my love, and therefore my life, my happiness is with me. And that is all I need.

I could follow my heart, my feelings, and that is what I am proud of, because nowadays people tend to forget about feelings and are buried by loneliness, the pursuit of money and treasure.

When you have 4 different diaries, there is no willing to write to any of them. Especially, if they are all different.
strange....why is it like that?

The Law of Inertia was made many time ago in physics. However, now I insist that it can be implied to real life.

One says several times a day "I love you", or "I miss you", or "You are the best" to beloved one..
In several years he or she will get used to that and will do the same for another several years even though the words will lose their meaning... According to experiments done you can train dogs to ask food the same time everyday... You can teach rats to ask for cheese some special way... But can you train yourself to love the same person for many years? Can you make yourself to feel shivering when he takes your hand, like the first day you met? Or after a while a Law of Inertia takes place?

My fiancee went to see friends on Thursday, which is 2 days ago.
On Thursday I have written many messages, missed the voice of beloved, wanted to cry lying down alone on the bed and trying not to look anywhere except laptop, because everything in our flat reminded about him, his smile... I can look on book and see Mr. Love taking it to read and kissing my forehead like apologizing for going to another room, because if he stayed with me, he would stare only at me... I can look on fireplace and see him admiring fire, with spiritual face thinking about something high... I did not fall asleep untill 4 a.m. because I couldn't fall asleep without his arms and breath, because I am used to fall asleep after him, knowing that he is already in the world of dreams, where we will meet in several minutes...
On Friday life seemed miserable. Have eaten only once a day, tried to go shopping with a friend, but it didn't work so well, because everytime I wanted to buy some pretty cloth, after discussing how good the price is comparing with qulity and how great it underlines adventures of my body, everytime I took my wallet and almost paid in the cashier desk, I was destructed by a thought "How Mr.Love will look on it? Will he like it? Will I see admire in his eyes when I will wear it?" As a result, I have bought only some staff for nails as a present...Went to sleep quite late, because did not want to. Because was watching movies and dreaming about Mr. Love coming as fast as possible. However, the feelings became less sharp, I some kind of used to be alone, and it took me only one day to stop being scared of night darkness.
Today. Woke up with apathy and didn't want to go out of the bed. So my morning started from 4 p.m. Feelings even less sharp. So here probably the Law of Inertia stopped to work. I was missing two days... First- trully. Second- inertially, Now- do not know what to think. I had a dream that I wake up and see the face of Mr. Love and his smile. So I woke up for five times this night, hoping and hoping. At 4 my hope died. I do not hope anymore. I do not even want that anymore. It feels like I am tired of missing as well as I am tired of hoping. Moreover, now I feel that I want to spend more time alone. What an irony! 

My Law of Inertia works for one day. FOr other people it is different. But now at least I know, that I cannot live without Mr. Love for 2 damn days. The third day I manage to feel pleasure from being alone. And that is great! That does not mean, that I don't love or that I am cold betrator. Every person has right to enjoy loneliness, everyone has a right for a personal life and "free" days. Just for someone the law of Inertia is too long to understand it, because they tortue themselves with ueless thoughts and hopes instead of enjoying. But life is too short to spend it for something which doesn't matter. When you are together, you are together, having each other. When you are separated, you are still together, just you have now you own free time for your own thoughts and your own friends....

...and broght gloomy weather, wind and the willing to replan and change everything.

I am changing my plans, bringing distempr to my life.

The only wish I have now is to muffle in a warm blanket, to take hot Earl Grey with honey and think about all mistakes I have done...Thinking how to make everything to work like I want. Thinking of WHAT I want. Thinking of aims and tools. Thinking about us.

I like our fireplace. It always gives me strength to think about something difficult. It makes my evenings romantic and warm. It fondles my glance. It always reminds about nights we have, full as much of passion as this fire has.

I like rain. You always said "Rain  clears body and mind", but only now I understand how write you are. Only now I started to believe you. I want always to believe you. I want always to trust you. I want it to be like that: if you say something, than it is so and nothing than so, because YOU said it. Do you think you can teach me to trust you fully and believe every word of yours? Do you think I will be good learner?

I miss you. You have just left, but I already miss you. And don't believe to my words, when I say I don't need you. Or my actions showing that. Because you know, that you are my air. And even people always complain the ecology is bad, the air full of chemical mix, there is the smell of gas in the air or some other thing, they still cannot live without it.  Strange thought have brought me this fall...
 

The world is mine!

WHat do you usually do when you do not have thoughts but have a crazy willing to write?

I have this now, and do not know how to deal with that.... It is one more type of stress for me... Funny, but I don't know how to deal with stress either. 
There are always several levels of being stressed for me. First I start to eat much, some kind of even unconsiously. Why I used that word? Just because I realize how much I have eaten only after I ake a look on a huge mount of packs from chips, corn choolate. After that would be apples, oranges, allergy on citrus. After that will come the feeling of shame and start for eating "healthy products", like a pan full of porridge, 3 plates of soup, 5 cups of tea... And tea without sweets is waste of money, so add there bans, jam, honey and full stomach.
Then a new feeling comes. I feel weak and ugly because of "those fat on the humps and 5 more sm on belly". After that I am ready not to eat at all for minimum several months and I am good in staying hungry for maximum 2 days, and after that I feel again ashamed before my body, I talk to my stomach apologizig that I bring that so much suffer because it doesn't deserve it and I start to eat twice more.
Another way of expression stress is reading "easy" books, like 2 a day. Watching TV helps as well, so i start to watch all programs:cry in watching dramas, to be angry in actions and to be scared watching thrillers. After 2 days I start to talk to TV and, believe me, it responds!!!
When I begin writing poems, that means I am already desperate. The same decison you can make if I don't pick up phone, don't talk to friends and when the closest friends come to me and knock to my door and screaming untill neighbours are threatening to call the police, I open the door, look wise, behave quiet and on all stories answer "Life is unjust, brother, everything is so unpredictable" and other wise things.

Thanks God, I have never been in stress for a long time and so heavily. Wish you the same Because I am sure all the stresses I had were just because of plenty of time and not so much things to do because I am lazy:) 
 

THE HAPPIEST DAY IN OUR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


 

The world is mine!!